Pokemon Dumbass Fan-fic
by SanicDanic
Summary: Thy most rediculous Pokemon fan-fic ever. Because its so dumb. We made it look like that 5 year olds wrote it. But of course we don't think 5 year olds would swear and understand our jokes. So sit you fat ass down and enjoy. :)


Dawn woke up to a startling light. "wake up Dawn, your late for school!" her mom said. She noticed her mom looked really ugly in the mornings before her shower. Her blue hair was all over the place."wow mom you look like a hooker." Dawn snickered at her amazing insult. "like mother like daughter!" her mother said and left the room. That was ice cold. Dawn got up to eat breakfast but her mom stoped her "sarve you little gremlin, no food for you" Dawns mom winked as she gave her the middle finger. "whatever I'll go eat some food at the professors" she said as she left her home. As she walked out she saw her best friend get hit by a buss but she was to hungray to care. Dawn walked up to her dead friend and then took out phyduck and chimchar and told phyduck to poke her making sure she was dead, a few minutes later she made chimchar burn her then dawn sang "BURN BABY BURN NOBODY EVEN LIKED YOU!" Dawn then began to perform a Satanic ritual, offering her phyduck as the sacrifice. Phyduck imploded and his guts went everywore. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Dawn cheered while dancing around and laughing like a lil bitch. Then some boy with black hair walked over and took her bike"hay you dirty Mexican come back here or ill have you deported like the ratata you are!" but he ceep go and so she followed.

Little did they know was that the professor was watching them the whole time. What a creep he is. He was trying to get an up-skirt picture on his phone to send to friends. So Dawn ran to professor but he no help instead do bad things to her. Ash saw this and ran over to her. "hey man stop that's gross..!" but he didn't listen. Ash grabbed the bike and smashed it onto the professor. He fell down and blacked out. "wow thanks guy, sorry about being racist to you earlier, my mom is a nazi so it wore off on me a bit I guess." Dawn said as she pulled her hat back on. "it's okay, I'm white anyways." Dawn laughed at this since his skin was like a roasted chickens. Dawns stomach grumbled because her mom wouldn't feed her. "hey are you hungry? We can grab some food before school" Ash said. "I aint payin though I'm broke as fuck" dawn said as she walked ahead of him. "Maybe they are take applications at the strip club." Dawn suggested. "Oh I now this one place my mom works at. Actaully that is where she got Mr. Mime." Ash was confused because he was just a young Christian boy getting mixed up with this nazi sleave bag. "what about school?" he asked. "school is for pussies" she said as she put her Gucci sunglasses on. "well okay lets just get food for now." Ash said. He was scared because he knew Jesus was judging him for this.

The two kids walked into the fukkin poke school because they freakin had to. "GOD I hate school." Dawn whinnied. "GOD I hate you." Ash grond. "Well fuk u too btch." Dawn sshouted. "GOD TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG" Ash begged "EVERY THING" A large voice rattled the halls. That's when the ball rang and the kids raced to their class rooms. "JESUS!?" Ash said as he fell on his knees. "no you dumbass" said Gary as he and his hoes crowed around him. Ash thought that Gary was a huge homo in secret but couldn't say it out loud because he would get beat up. Ash looked at him and said "what do you want Gary" he said as he got off of the ground. Dawn stood their admiring Gary's swag. "I'm here to tell you that this year I'm going to be the prom king and you have no chance!" gary said as he laughed. All of his girlfriends laughed too and started giving dawn dirty looks. "whatca looking at sluts" dawn said to the girls. "ew we only talk to pretty people ur fuckin grody" and they left. Dawn was gonna get payback soon but for now she settled with " the only reson you think your preety is because when you come in to an onehundred foot raidius of a mirrior it shatters so its last moments arnt spent looking at you." All the girls started crying and ran away. Gary spit on ash and left with the girls. Dawn and Ash went to medic class but Dawn fell asleep because she really didn't give a flying fuck about medic shiz. She just wanted to battle and be a champion. Ash on the other hand always follows the rules so he payed attention and took notes. After that they went to lunch and Ash saw dawn leaving. "where are you going dawn?" he asked. "on my journey you idiot." Dawn snorted "B-But school." Ash stuterd " I DON'T GIVE TWO CRAPS!" Dawn shouted. "but you don't have any money!" ash said. Dawn realized that ash was right and rolled her eyes. Ash went over to Dawn and they walked outside. "you know we should go together!" ash said with a smile. Dawn didn't really want that nerd with her but she was broke so she decided to use him for cash. "okay fine, but you can't hold me back from my dreams!" she told him. The two kids walked away from the school feeling like badasses. "what about our families?" ash asked. "why do you talk so much oh my god please stop talking you're killing me." Dawn said as she walked ahead of Ash. He looked at her and just ignored her snide comment.

Ash and Dawn walked over to the pokemart where an elderly couple was in the way of the door. "what are you young pups doin out of school?" asked the elderly man. Ash opened his mouth to answer but dawn answered before he could. "our family is very poor, we need supplies, and we don't have a lot of money…" dawn said as she started tearing up. The couple looked at each other and gave them 200 bucks to afford supplies. "thank you, may god protect you." Dawn said as the couple left. Ash looked at dawn, "you're horrible! I can't believe you did that!" He was furious. He didn't want to go with Dawn anymore. He wondered what Jesus would have done. Dawn and Ash bought potions and pokeballs for their journey.

Walking out of the mart, they noticed the day was almost over. "Lets get a motel" ash said. Dawn agreed and went to the nearest motel. Right as they got in the room dawn started doing drugs. Ash started crying and Dawn taped his mouth shut so he would shut the fuck up. Ash fell asleep while dawn went out to party with all of her other g's. The next day Ash woke up in the bed and dawn was showering. Ash realized he forgot his pants in the bathroom from last night so he went in the room to grab them. He opened the door and flipped out because dawn was naked. She smack him with a flat iron and grabbed a towel. "who the fuck do you think you are shrimp dick!?" she screamed at him. Ash was crying but he was also really happy because he thought dawn had a smokin' bod. He ran out of the room and hid under the blankets. Jesus is seriously judging him now. Dawn walked out of the bathroom and said "I know its hard not to but don't take those blankets off of your head or ill kill you." But he lowered the sheet and the only thing he saw was the cothes iorn in his face. "PERVE!" she shouted. Great ash thout Im never getting into heven now.

Latter that day, they started theyer journey. "Okay," Ash started lets try the cave first" and as they where walking they saw the Pikachu they had met last night beating up this tiny cubone for not "paying up" on time. "Hay Pikachu" ash said. "what do you want gaytard" it responded. Dawn started laughing hard because that's what she's been thinking this whole time. "why is everyone so mean to me I just want to get along with everyone!" ash said while tearing up. "why are you such a pussy grow a pair." Dawn said as she and the Pikachu fist bumped. Pikachu thought Dawn was hella cool. "You wana come with on our journey?" Dawn asked "Sure." He rieplied. And so they set of, first time pokeman trainer alone in the could crule world. Will they surrvie? Join in the next episode that is never going to come. JK TEE HEE


End file.
